








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 661 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 285 matches | ||
| Esplay | 34 matches | 1,871 | |
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 70 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3788 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,120 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5172 | 27% |
| Smokes | 5467 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3579 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 4902 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $423,047 of utility $49 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 278 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lil postman | 57% | 118 |
| #2 | BobDAruler | 56% | 100 |
| #3 | Jeff | 56% | 183 |
| #4 | hemy-dll | 55% | 168 |
| #5 | ★ elias | 50% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | BobDAruler | 56% | 100 |
| #3 | Jeff | 56% | 183 |
| #4 | hemy-dll | 55% | 168 |
| #5 | ★ elias | 50% | 68 |
| #6 | guster | 48% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jeff | 13 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | hemy-dll | 10 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | guster | 6 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | ★ elias | 6 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | lil postman | 5 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hemy-dll | 663 | 0.18 | 19 min |
| #2 | Jeff | 469 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #3 | guster | 367 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #4 | BobDAruler | 332 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #5 | lil postman | 315 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hemy-dll | +1.48 | 78 | 71 |
| #2 | Jeff | +0.72 | 75 | 72 |
| #3 | BobDAruler | +0.64 | 61 | 74 |
| #4 | lil postman | +0.39 | 74 | 69 |
| #5 | conductor | +0.38 | 75 | 71 |





