








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 183 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 329 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3751 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,817 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3605 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2280 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 3846 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 2086 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,106,534 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 105 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★ elias | 54% | 65 |
| #2 | hemy-dll | 53% | 125 |
| #3 | Jeff | 53% | 133 |
| #4 | BobDAruler | 52% | 64 |
| #5 | reelmower | 51% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Jeff | 53% | 133 |
| #4 | BobDAruler | 52% | 64 |
| #5 | reelmower | 51% | 37 |
| #6 | lil postman | 50% | 107 |
| #7 | conductor | 48% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jeff | 23 | 0.0082 |
| #2 | lil postman | 9 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | ★ elias | 6 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | hemy-dll | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | conductor | 4 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hemy-dll | 517 | 0.20 | 14 min |
| #2 | conductor | 412 | 0.18 | 13 min |
| #3 | Jeff | 345 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #4 | lil postman | 319 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #5 | ★ elias | 218 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hemy-dll | +1.94 | 77 | 69 |
| #2 | reelmower | +1.17 | 71 | 73 |
| #3 | BobDAruler | +1.12 | 63 | 75 |
| #4 | Jeff | +0.74 | 78 | 72 |
| #5 | conductor | +0.47 | 77 | 72 |





