








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 523 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 613 matches | ||
| Faceit | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8711 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 46,762 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 18831 | 40% |
| Smokes | 13721 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 7966 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 6244 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $763,054 of utility $42 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3161 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yami | 64% | 50 |
| #2 | xlout | 56% | 52 |
| #3 | TEANIE PEANIR | 51% | 158 |
| #4 | Nemo | 50% | 218 |
| #5 | Abe | 50% | 153 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | TEANIE PEANIR | 51% | 158 |
| #4 | Nemo | 50% | 218 |
| #5 | Abe | 50% | 153 |
| #6 | alex | 49% | 79 |
| #7 | ム | 44% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nemo | 14 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Abe | 12 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | TEANIE PEANIR | 9 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Yami | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | xlout | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nemo | 680 | 0.15 | 18 min |
| #2 | TEANIE PEANIR | 348 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #3 | Yami | 257 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| #4 | Abe | 212 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #5 | xlout | 208 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yami | +3.47 | 82 | 70 |
| #2 | xlout | +1.96 | 80 | 58 |
| #3 | Nemo | +1.85 | 71 | 72 |
| #4 | Abe | +1.29 | 65 | 54 |
| #5 | ム | +0.27 | 76 | 38 |





