








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 693 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 246 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 42 matches | ||
| Wingman | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6313 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,684 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1851 | 15% |
| Smokes | 3260 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4374 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 3199 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,190,616 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 834 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .eltcoff | 61% | 51 |
| #2 | shmarnold | Zeus Stat Trak #227 | 61% | 239 |
| #3 | xlout | 60% | 47 |
| #4 | alex | 50% | 98 |
| #5 | TEANIE PEANIR | 46% | 157 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | TEANIE PEANIR | 46% | 157 |
| #6 | shyaM | 44% | 50 |
| #7 | Abe | 43% | 212 |
| #8 | Shady Milkman | 43% | 63 |
| #9 | Nemo | 42% | 127 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shmarnold | Zeus Stat Trak #227 | 34 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | Abe | 11 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | TEANIE PEANIR | 9 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | .eltcoff | 6 | 0.0062 |
| #5 | Nemo | 5 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shmarnold | Zeus Stat Trak #227 | 1529 | 0.33 | 41 min |
| #2 | Nemo | 369 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #3 | shyaM | 328 | 0.30 | 9 min |
| #4 | TEANIE PEANIR | 289 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #5 | .eltcoff | 262 | 0.27 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xlout | +2.21 | 71 | 57 |
| #2 | shmarnold | Zeus Stat Trak #227 | +2.07 | 58 | 65 |
| #3 | Nemo | +1.68 | 73 | 71 |
| #4 | .eltcoff | +1.18 | 74 | 71 |
| #5 | ム | +1.12 | 74 | 43 |





