








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 625 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 144 matches | ||
| Premier | 132 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 53 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6474 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,963 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5945 | 33% |
| Smokes | 4711 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2927 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 4380 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,322,426 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 651 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Draycing | 71% | 191 |
| #2 | Voli | 70% | 307 |
| #3 | Вall[Z?] | 70% | 37 |
| #4 | Squiddy | 70% | 79 |
| #5 | twitch.tv/deshtable | 68% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | BeatingBros | 67% | 30 |
| #7 | Diamond | 66% | 41 |
| #8 | CptCupcakes | 65% | 201 |
| #9 | Quark | 65% | 113 |
| #10 | I miss her | 62% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CptCupcakes | 8 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Voli | 6 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Draycing | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | Quark | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | Diamond | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Voli | 982 | 0.16 | 27 min |
| #2 | Draycing | 821 | 0.22 | 22 min |
| #3 | CptCupcakes | 394 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #4 | Squiddy | 238 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #5 | Quark | 227 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gummy | +3.67 | 85 | 66 |
| #2 | Voli | +3.23 | 76 | 67 |
| #3 | Diamond | +1.20 | 78 | 69 |
| #4 | Draycing | +0.03 | 73 | 74 |
| #5 | CptCupcakes | -0.04 | 77 | 62 |





