








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 443 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3224 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,944 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2580 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2396 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3078 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2890 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $650,132 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 219 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I miss her | 78% | 40 |
| #2 | Draycing | 71% | 198 |
| #3 | Voli | 69% | 291 |
| #4 | Diamond | 69% | 52 |
| #5 | Squiddy | 65% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Вall[Z?] | 65% | 40 |
| #7 | Quark | 65% | 117 |
| #8 | gummy | 65% | 201 |
| #9 | twitch.tv/deshtable | 63% | 19 |
| #10 | BeatingBros | 56% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gummy | 16 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | Voli | 6 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Draycing | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | I miss her | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Вall[Z?] | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Voli | 1005 | 0.17 | 29 min |
| #2 | gummy | 922 | 0.23 | 24 min |
| #3 | Draycing | 898 | 0.23 | 25 min |
| #4 | Quark | 234 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #5 | Squiddy | 183 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Voli | +3.52 | 79 | 68 |
| #2 | gummy | +2.81 | 83 | 64 |
| #3 | Diamond | +1.33 | 75 | 66 |
| #4 | CptCupcakes | +0.17 | 78 | 63 |
| #5 | Draycing | +0.15 | 77 | 74 |





