








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1560 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 243 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 171 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 136 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 110 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10431 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,340 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7922 | 29% |
| Smokes | 7757 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 6440 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 5221 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,300,060 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 146 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Вall[Z?] | 71% | 242 |
| #2 | I miss her | 71% | 156 |
| #3 | gummy | 70% | 307 |
| #4 | Draycing | 70% | 548 |
| #5 | CptCupcakes | 69% | 291 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Squiddy | 67% | 202 |
| #8 | BeatingBros | 66% | 122 |
| #9 | twitch.tv/deshtable | 66% | 71 |
| #10 | Quark | 65% | 186 |
| #11 | Veb | 64% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gummy | 17 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | CptCupcakes | 17 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Draycing | 11 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Вall[Z?] | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Diamond | 3 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Draycing | 2251 | 0.21 | 62 min |
| #2 | gummy | 1247 | 0.21 | 34 min |
| #3 | CptCupcakes | 576 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #4 | Squiddy | 558 | 0.14 | 14 min |
| #5 | Quark | 427 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Voli | +4.07 | 81 | 68 |
| #2 | gummy | +3.08 | 83 | 66 |
| #3 | Draycing | +1.51 | 80 | 73 |
| #4 | Diamond | +1.49 | 76 | 66 |
| #5 | CptCupcakes | +0.16 | 77 | 63 |





