








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 210 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1121 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,704 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 633 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1013 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 800 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 258 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $628,238 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | slimgat | 35% | 17 |
| #8 | ♥ Bitch Please ♥ | 35% | 114 |
| #9 | Rambro | 33% | 15 |
| #10 | Bekka_ZA | 31% | 16 |
| #11 | Rooibaard | 28% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♥ Bitch Please ♥ | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | boesman25022002 | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | ♡°SiRєN°♡ | 5 | 0.0123 |
| #4 | Ghiellie | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | DandeLion | 3 | 0.0061 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♥ Bitch Please ♥ | 335 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #2 | Ghiellie | 86 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #3 | Rambro | 55 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | ♡°SiRєN°♡ | 53 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | Rooibaard | 50 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DandeLion | +5.20 | 66 | 35 |
| #2 | Boesman Zol | +4.14 | 75 | 33 |
| #3 | Ghiellie | +2.23 | 58 | 33 |
| #4 | Rooibaard | +2.09 | 75 | 55 |
| #5 | boesman25022002 | +1.86 | 59 | 27 |





