








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 53 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 404 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4810 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,231 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 878 | 17% |
| Smokes | 596 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 1556 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2201 | 42% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,418,824 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 159 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Bitchin Wizard | 47% | 59 |
| #2 | boesman25022002 | 47% | 36 |
| #3 | Oompie | 46% | 24 |
| #4 | Ghiellie | 45% | 99 |
| #5 | ♡°SiRєN°♡ | 45% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | ♥ Bitch Please ♥ | 44% | 276 |
| #9 | Rambro | 42% | 45 |
| #10 | ★★Meta_Zelot★★ | 42% | 112 |
| #11 | Twinkle | 38% | 24 |
| #12 | DUDE!?! #105 | 38% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♥ Bitch Please ♥ | 12 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | ★★Meta_Zelot★★ | 9 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | The Bitchin Wizard | 4 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Rambro | 4 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | ♡°SiRєN°♡ | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♥ Bitch Please ♥ | 946 | 0.17 | 20 min |
| #2 | ♡°SiRєN°♡ | 283 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | Rambro | 156 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | Ghiellie | 93 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | Rooibaard | 71 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DandeLion | +3.33 | 59 | 43 |
| #2 | The Bitchin Wizard | +1.85 | 56 | 52 |
| #3 | Rambro | +0.36 | 56 | 64 |
| #4 | boesman25022002 | +0.27 | 63 | 28 |
| #5 | Ghiellie | +0.23 | 59 | 31 |





