








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1379 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,104 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 294 | 27% |
| Smokes | 251 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 282 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 277 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $30,196 of utility $11 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Rooibaard | 22% | 9 |
| #10 | Ghiellie | 21% | 28 |
| #11 | ♥ Bitch Please ♥ | 15% | 41 |
| #12 | Mr Jeffrey Dahmer | 14% | 7 |
| #13 | DandeLion | 0% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boesman Zol | +1.64 | 69 | 27 |
| #2 | CAMTHEWIZ | +1.09 | 44 | 44 |
| #3 | [trol] Aka.Ockie | +1.00 | 23 | 49 |
| #4 | DandeLion | +0.49 | 69 | 28 |
| #5 | Rooibaard | -0.13 | 64 | 49 |





