








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 983 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1090 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9201 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,132 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3275 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2320 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2536 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2001 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,435,687 of utility $230 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 972 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 0verdr1ve#105 | 57% | 115 |
| #2 | DUDE!?! #105 | 53% | 109 |
| #3 | Ish Le Avocado. | 53% | 64 |
| #4 | boesman25022002 | 51% | 75 |
| #5 | Rooibaard | 50% | 109 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | The Bitchin Wizard | 46% | 175 |
| #11 | DandeLion | 45% | 99 |
| #12 | Oompie | 41% | 97 |
| #13 | TheVDG767 | 39% | 67 |
| #14 | CrypticMythh | 37% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♥ Bitch Please ♥ | 26 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | The Bitchin Wizard | 16 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | Ish Le Avocado. | 12 | 0.0088 |
| #4 | ★★Meta_Zelot★★ | 9 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | Rambro | 7 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♥ Bitch Please ♥ | 1833 | 0.16 | 37 min |
| #2 | Rambro | 421 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #3 | ♡°SiRєN°♡ | 270 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #4 | Ish Le Avocado. | 243 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #5 | DUDE!?! #105 | 195 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DandeLion | +3.47 | 56 | 45 |
| #2 | The Bitchin Wizard | +2.23 | 56 | 57 |
| #3 | Ish Le Avocado. | +1.84 | 73 | 63 |
| #4 | 0verdr1ve#105 | +1.69 | 55 | 52 |
| #5 | Ghiellie | +1.11 | 60 | 33 |





