








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 145 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 422 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3814 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,223 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 767 | 18% |
| Smokes | 985 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1329 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1142 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $104,478 of utility $11 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 50 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ghiellie | 51% | 75 |
| #2 | DandeLion | 47% | 36 |
| #3 | iTzZ.Doni | 45% | 42 |
| #4 | Oompie | 43% | 114 |
| #5 | Rooibaard | 41% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Rooibaard | 41% | 37 |
| #6 | ♥ Bitch Please ♥ | 40% | 181 |
| #7 | Boesman Zol | 35% | 34 |
| #8 | RHINO | 35% | 37 |
| #9 | [trol] Aka.Ockie | 32% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♥ Bitch Please ♥ | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | iTzZ.Doni | 4 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | DandeLion | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Oompie | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | Ghiellie | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♥ Bitch Please ♥ | 615 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| #2 | RHINO | 134 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #3 | Ghiellie | 59 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | Rooibaard | 46 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Boesman Zol | 43 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DandeLion | +6.20 | 66 | 47 |
| #2 | Boesman Zol | +3.32 | 77 | 31 |
| #3 | [trol] Aka.Ockie | +0.78 | 36 | 53 |
| #4 | Ghiellie | +0.57 | 54 | 32 |
| #5 | boesman25022002 | +0.46 | 52 | 30 |





