








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 39 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 377 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3907 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,894 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2389 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1660 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1656 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1189 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,349,160 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 155 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DaddyDr3ad | 53% | 30 |
| #2 | The Bitchin Wizard | 52% | 29 |
| #3 | TheSoloACE | 50% | 32 |
| #4 | Ghiellie | 50% | 109 |
| #5 | ♥ Bitch Please ♥ | 46% | 190 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♥ Bitch Please ♥ | 10 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | ★★Meta_Zelot★★ | 5 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | DandeLion | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Ghiellie | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | DaddyDr3ad | 2 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DandeLion | +4.88 | 63 | 42 |
| #2 | The Bitchin Wizard | +3.78 | 57 | 58 |
| #3 | Ghiellie | +1.35 | 55 | 30 |
| #4 | TheSoloACE | +1.28 | 18 | 51 |
| #5 | boesman25022002 | +0.00 | 57 | 29 |





