








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 729 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 360 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




135 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4617 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,533 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5039 | 35% |
| Smokes | 3140 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2917 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3437 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $990,444 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 476 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pREDDY trägt alle | 65% | 49 |
| #2 | Nobody | 65% | 130 |
| #3 | uney | 54% | 338 |
| #4 | mospunktcom (retired) | 52% | 48 |
| #5 | .promii- | 47% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | uney | 101 | 0.0146 |
| #2 | unit | 54 | 0.0130 |
| #3 | Nobody | 35 | 0.0133 |
| #4 | pREDDY trägt alle | 13 | 0.0134 |
| #5 | mospunktcom (retired) | 12 | 0.0130 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | uney | 1403 | 0.20 | 33 min |
| #2 | unit | 968 | 0.23 | 28 min |
| #3 | Nobody | 640 | 0.24 | 15 min |
| #4 | .promii- | 272 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #5 | pREDDY trägt alle | 244 | 0.25 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pREDDY trägt alle | +3.14 | 85 | 64 |
| #2 | Nobody | +2.56 | 87 | 66 |
| #3 | ⭕⃤smsmjuju | +2.01 | 84 | 61 |
| #4 | uney | +1.80 | 85 | 45 |
| #5 | .promii- | +1.40 | 89 | 65 |





