








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 731 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 209 matches | ||
| Faceit | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3979 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,988 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6102 | 41% |
| Smokes | 4253 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1026 | 7% |
| Molotovs | 3607 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $910,503 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 42 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Dave | 56% | 214 |
| #9 | unit | 51% | 106 |
| #10 | uney | 48% | 71 |
| #11 | .pazii | 48% | 61 |
| #12 | ⭕⃤smsmjuju | 47% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | uney | 27 | 0.0184 |
| #2 | ⭕⃤smsmjuju | 18 | 0.0136 |
| #3 | unit | 17 | 0.0077 |
| #4 | Fritt' | 10 | 0.0064 |
| #5 | Theo Yūji | 5 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | unit | 602 | 0.27 | 18 min |
| #2 | Dave | 517 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #3 | _nlz | 455 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #4 | uney | 339 | 0.23 | 10 min |
| #5 | ⭕⃤smsmjuju | 304 | 0.23 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .promii- | +2.24 | 91 | 68 |
| #2 | uney | +1.26 | 86 | 49 |
| #3 | ⭕⃤smsmjuju | +1.18 | 82 | 63 |
| #4 | Dave | +0.69 | 79 | 56 |
| #5 | Theo Yūji | -0.23 | 50 | 51 |





