








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 860 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 272 matches | ||
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4783 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,668 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3146 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2317 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2672 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3533 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,609,268 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 365 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fritt' | 74% | 54 |
| #2 | Theo Yūji | 67% | 69 |
| #3 | sikerim | 63% | 32 |
| #4 | ExeK- | 60% | 58 |
| #5 | _nlz | 60% | 113 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | unit | 55% | 91 |
| #9 | JasoNNTjE | 52% | 46 |
| #10 | TurboGurke | 49% | 63 |
| #11 | ⭕⃤smsmjuju | 43% | 51 |
| #12 | uney | 39% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .promii- | 12 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | ⭕⃤smsmjuju | 12 | 0.0108 |
| #3 | unit | 11 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | uney | 10 | 0.0107 |
| #5 | Fritt' | 5 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .promii- | 1205 | 0.28 | 34 min |
| #2 | unit | 529 | 0.28 | 16 min |
| #3 | TurboGurke | 453 | 0.34 | 13 min |
| #4 | _nlz | 318 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #5 | ⭕⃤smsmjuju | 246 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .promii- | +2.34 | 91 | 70 |
| #2 | TurboGurke | +1.70 | 87 | 75 |
| #3 | ⭕⃤smsmjuju | +1.54 | 84 | 67 |
| #4 | uney | +1.18 | 85 | 53 |
| #5 | Dave | +1.01 | 81 | 55 |





