








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 834 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 202 matches | ||
| Faceit | 62 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5001 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,563 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4752 | 45% |
| Smokes | 2602 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2416 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 793 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $907,612 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1250 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KaysonS | 67% | 18 |
| #2 | ⭕⃤smsmjuju | 65% | 49 |
| #3 | Nobody | 63% | 52 |
| #4 | uney | 63% | 46 |
| #5 | mospunktcom (retired) | 55% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | reisschnaps | 48% | 124 |
| #8 | Lightman | 47% | 36 |
| #9 | jasm1N | 41% | 121 |
| #10 | Empty | 39% | 75 |
| #11 | CriticalKush | 32% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | uney | 24 | 0.0257 |
| #2 | ⭕⃤smsmjuju | 17 | 0.0175 |
| #3 | Nobody | 14 | 0.0136 |
| #4 | reisschnaps | 7 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | unit | 7 | 0.0117 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nobody | 260 | 0.25 | 7 min |
| #2 | uney | 221 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #3 | reisschnaps | 215 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | ⭕⃤smsmjuju | 197 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #5 | Empty | 130 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pREDDY trägt alle | +5.71 | 90 | 62 |
| #2 | Nobody | +2.40 | 85 | 66 |
| #3 | ⭕⃤smsmjuju | +1.81 | 80 | 57 |
| #4 | uney | +1.34 | 82 | 44 |
| #5 | reisschnaps | -0.53 | 59 | 52 |





