








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 529 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 419 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




140 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5203 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,450 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4489 | 39% |
| Smokes | 2341 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2332 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2288 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,901,072 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 574 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pREDDY trägt alle | 63% | 46 |
| #2 | Nobody | 60% | 169 |
| #3 | ⭕⃤smsmjuju | 54% | 338 |
| #4 | mospunktcom (retired) | 48% | 27 |
| #5 | .promii- | 48% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⭕⃤smsmjuju | 104 | 0.0150 |
| #2 | unit | 57 | 0.0110 |
| #3 | Nobody | 43 | 0.0123 |
| #4 | pREDDY trägt alle | 7 | 0.0075 |
| #5 | mospunktcom (retired) | 5 | 0.0092 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⭕⃤smsmjuju | 1390 | 0.20 | 33 min |
| #2 | unit | 1215 | 0.23 | 34 min |
| #3 | Nobody | 901 | 0.26 | 23 min |
| #4 | .promii- | 322 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #5 | pREDDY trägt alle | 229 | 0.25 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pREDDY trägt alle | +3.66 | 84 | 64 |
| #2 | uney | +2.06 | 86 | 46 |
| #3 | Nobody | +1.99 | 86 | 70 |
| #4 | ⭕⃤smsmjuju | +1.40 | 83 | 60 |
| #5 | .promii- | +1.11 | 89 | 62 |





