








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 406 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 195 matches | ||
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3385 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,068 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1463 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1625 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1742 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2238 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,171,730 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 333 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .lex | 61% | 18 |
| #2 | Thardy | 53% | 30 |
| #3 | Ertjeee * Bastardeeee | 53% | 17 |
| #4 | Joonthom | 50% | 133 |
| #5 | Deimos | 45% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Ertjeee * Bastardeeee | 53% | 17 |
| #4 | Joonthom | 50% | 133 |
| #5 | Deimos | 45% | 64 |
| #6 | Ansel ♡ | 43% | 40 |
| #7 | Gloeiii | 39% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ansel ♡ | 3 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Ertjeee * Bastardeeee | 2 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | Deimos | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | Gloeiii | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joonthom | 692 | 0.24 | 19 min |
| #2 | Ansel ♡ | 269 | 0.30 | 7 min |
| #3 | Deimos | 225 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #4 | Gloeiii | 110 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #5 | Ertjeee * Bastardeeee | 68 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ertjeee * Bastardeeee | +3.96 | 86 | 61 |
| #2 | ✪CharMex -iwnl- | +1.50 | 84 | 51 |
| #3 | Deimos | +0.38 | 82 | 70 |
| #4 | Joonthom | -0.02 | 71 | 70 |
| #5 | .lex | -0.12 | 76 | 60 |





