








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 300 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 144 matches | ||
| Premier | 33 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2722 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,199 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3519 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2967 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2302 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2411 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $364,302 of utility $72 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 102 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ansel ♡ | 56% | 80 |
| #2 | Joonthom | 55% | 55 |
| #3 | ✪CharMex -iwnl- | 45% | 64 |
| #4 | BL1Ndyyy | 44% | 16 |
| #5 | AgoniX | 43% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | BL1Ndyyy | 44% | 16 |
| #5 | AgoniX | 43% | 21 |
| #6 | steve bytheway | 38% | 13 |
| #7 | Gloeiii | 34% | 29 |
| #8 | Oscar | 27% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ansel ♡ | 12 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | ✪CharMex -iwnl- | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Joonthom | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Oscar | 3 | 0.0100 |
| #5 | AgoniX | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ansel ♡ | 496 | 0.26 | 12 min |
| #2 | Joonthom | 217 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #3 | AgoniX | 144 | 0.32 | 4 min |
| #4 | Gloeiii | 141 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #5 | ✪CharMex -iwnl- | 85 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Deimos | +1.95 | 86 | 66 |
| #2 | BL1Ndyyy | +1.66 | 92 | 39 |
| #3 | ✪CharMex -iwnl- | +0.78 | 83 | 58 |
| #4 | AgoniX | -0.13 | 60 | 63 |
| #5 | Joonthom | -0.20 | 73 | 67 |





