








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 848 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 659 matches | ||
| Premier | 51 matches | ||
| Renown | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9496 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 37,485 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12680 | 34% |
| Smokes | 8418 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 6459 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 9928 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,605,262 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1220 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -Ryuj1n | 73% | 44 |
| #2 | NykxS | 66% | 80 |
| #3 | Carsten | 58% | 119 |
| #4 | JvB | 58% | 66 |
| #5 | ツ ♡ Kai ☭ ❤ | 56% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | ✪CharMex -iwnl- | 50% | 133 |
| #11 | Ansel ♡ | 49% | 95 |
| #12 | Flor1x | 49% | 75 |
| #13 | HawKxQQ | 49% | 59 |
| #14 | TheOrc | 39% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BramZL | 12 | 0.0080 |
| #2 | Ansel ♡ | 7 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | ツ ♡ Kai ☭ ❤ | 6 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | ✪CharMex -iwnl- | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | NykxS | 5 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Carsten | 620 | 0.25 | 17 min |
| #2 | Ansel ♡ | 602 | 0.26 | 15 min |
| #3 | ツ ♡ Kai ☭ ❤ | 302 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #4 | JvB | 251 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #5 | Deimos | 247 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ツ ♡ Kai ☭ ❤ | +2.39 | 78 | 61 |
| #2 | JvB | +1.19 | 90 | 64 |
| #3 | ✪CharMex -iwnl- | +1.12 | 81 | 51 |
| #4 | Joonthom | +1.06 | 72 | 65 |
| #5 | Deimos | +0.93 | 82 | 69 |





