








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 198 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 50 matches | ||
| Faceit | 38 matches | ||
| Renown | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 70 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2084 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,053 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 682 | 13% |
| Smokes | 1857 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 1163 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1351 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $623,023 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 75 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ouleh | 80% | 10 |
| #2 | Jorji Costava | 71% | 17 |
| #3 | Joonthom | 62% | 37 |
| #4 | Carsten | 54% | 71 |
| #5 | ✪CharMex -iwnl- | 53% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Joonthom | 62% | 37 |
| #4 | Carsten | 54% | 71 |
| #5 | ✪CharMex -iwnl- | 53% | 30 |
| #6 | x | 50% | 12 |
| #7 | A-Choroh-S | 47% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Carsten | 5 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Jorji Costava | 3 | 0.0085 |
| #3 | Joonthom | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | A-Choroh-S | 1 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | ouleh | 1 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Carsten | 273 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #2 | Joonthom | 174 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #3 | Jorji Costava | 59 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #4 | x | 41 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #5 | ouleh | 33 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jorji Costava | +2.97 | 85 | 60 |
| #2 | A-Choroh-S | +2.01 | 88 | 40 |
| #3 | ✪CharMex -iwnl- | +1.90 | 89 | 47 |
| #4 | Joonthom | +0.98 | 68 | 67 |
| #5 | x | +0.60 | 68 | 63 |





