








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 222 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
550 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,233 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 911 | 28% |
| Smokes | 736 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1020 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 566 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $142,688 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 211 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | grandpaCheechi .つ༽◕_◕ ༽つ. | 58% | 12 |
| #2 | IDoMethDaily | 46% | 41 |
| #3 | m1tCh | 43% | 37 |
| #4 | grandpaCheech つ༽◕_◕ ༽つ | 43% | 35 |
| #5 | rayk* | 41% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | rayk* | 41% | 49 |
| #6 | MindCorrosion | 32% | 22 |
| #7 | Schlumpfdonald | 30% | 43 |
| #8 | ¡A la mierda! | 27% | 26 |
| #9 | Salar | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rayk* | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | IDoMethDaily | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | m1tCh | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | ¡A la mierda! | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | MindCorrosion | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rayk* | 150 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #2 | IDoMethDaily | 86 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | grandpaCheech つ༽◕_◕ ༽つ | 67 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | m1tCh | 57 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | ¡A la mierda! | 43 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | grandpaCheechi .つ༽◕_◕ ༽つ. | +1.19 | 72 | 79 |
| #2 | IDoMethDaily | +1.04 | 51 | 58 |
| #3 | rayk* | +0.82 | 67 | 64 |
| #4 | grandpaCheech つ༽◕_◕ ༽つ | +0.81 | 72 | 77 |
| #5 | m1tCh | +0.59 | 72 | 70 |





