








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1175 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 422 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 139 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4400 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,073 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3391 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3921 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3330 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2431 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,285,518 of utility $240 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 230 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MindCorrosion | 55% | 58 |
| #2 | ¡A la mierda! | 55% | 89 |
| #3 | IDoMethDaily | 53% | 58 |
| #4 | Schlumpfdonald | 51% | 71 |
| #5 | grandpaCheech つ༽◕_◕ ༽つ | 46% | 120 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | IDoMethDaily | 53% | 58 |
| #4 | Schlumpfdonald | 51% | 71 |
| #5 | grandpaCheech つ༽◕_◕ ༽つ | 46% | 120 |
| #6 | rayk* | 44% | 79 |
| #7 | XIO* | 43% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rayk* | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | XIO* | 4 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | grandpaCheech つ༽◕_◕ ༽つ | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | ¡A la mierda! | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | MindCorrosion | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rayk* | 230 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #2 | grandpaCheech つ༽◕_◕ ༽つ | 204 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | ¡A la mierda! | 141 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | IDoMethDaily | 141 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | MindCorrosion | 82 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MindCorrosion | +0.96 | 59 | 72 |
| #2 | IDoMethDaily | +0.67 | 58 | 52 |
| #3 | rayk* | +0.61 | 72 | 65 |
| #4 | grandpaCheech つ༽◕_◕ ༽つ | +0.42 | 72 | 77 |
| #5 | m1tCh | +0.03 | 64 | 66 |





