








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 468 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 268 matches | ||
| Premier | 175 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4970 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,440 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3726 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3117 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4150 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2447 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,470,093 of utility $233 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1397 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Haunt | 60% | 50 |
| #2 | Zakeri | 58% | 33 |
| #3 | brimmz | 53% | 64 |
| #4 | SPLiT | 52% | 81 |
| #5 | The Rat King | 47% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | emforr | 46% | 46 |
| #7 | Aylen | 43% | 47 |
| #8 | This shit ain nothin to me man | 41% | 27 |
| #9 | dro | 41% | 69 |
| #10 | John Baker™ | 36% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dro | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | The Rat King | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | SPLiT | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | brimmz | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Haunt | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dro | 265 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #2 | The Rat King | 256 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #3 | brimmz | 194 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | Zakeri | 187 | 0.27 | 5 min |
| #5 | SPLiT | 167 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | brimmz | +1.79 | 71 | 61 |
| #2 | venikue | +0.47 | 57 | 60 |
| #3 | Haunt | +0.44 | 45 | 32 |
| #4 | Aylen | +0.17 | 54 | 60 |
| #5 | The Rat King | +0.15 | 66 | 72 |





