










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 73 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
977 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,961 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 704 | 24% |
| Smokes | 920 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 595 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 742 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $313,653 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 25 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SE | 60% | 48 |
| #2 | ♥DonCrazyEyE♥ | 57% | 37 |
| #3 | L1nkzyッ | 55% | 29 |
| #4 | ratSo0 | 50% | 12 |
| #5 | :)zeezpro(: | 50% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | L1nkzyッ | 55% | 29 |
| #4 | ratSo0 | 50% | 12 |
| #5 | :)zeezpro(: | 50% | 34 |
| #6 | fsl | 42% | 12 |
| #7 | 三明治 | 41% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 三明治 | 4 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | SE | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | ♥DonCrazyEyE♥ | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | L1nkzyッ | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | :)zeezpro(: | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SE | 176 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #2 | ♥DonCrazyEyE♥ | 130 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | :)zeezpro(: | 96 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | L1nkzyッ | 93 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | ratSo0 | 45 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :)zeezpro(: | +3.73 | 68 | 65 |
| #2 | SE | +2.74 | 86 | 73 |
| #3 | fsl | +1.08 | 86 | 70 |
| #4 | TwiSi | -0.43 | 80 | 57 |
| #5 | L1nkzyッ | -0.79 | 69 | 63 |





