








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 227 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 394 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 91 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6528 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,692 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8060 | 28% |
| Smokes | 7880 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 7010 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 5742 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,133,182 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1199 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | L1nkzyッ | 49% | 454 |
| #5 | Pretoxgod | 48% | 54 |
| #6 | ratSo0 | 47% | 111 |
| #7 | MoZ | 44% | 62 |
| #8 | Viko | 37% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L1nkzyッ | 15 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | SE | 5 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | TwiSi | 5 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | Pretoxgod | 4 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Viko | 4 | 0.0042 |





