








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 385 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3448 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,248 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4547 | 44% |
| Smokes | 1319 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 2253 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2129 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $997,825 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 114 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mr.rightnow | 62% | 29 |
| #2 | KartDude | 53% | 36 |
| #3 | tilus | 51% | 39 |
| #4 | alxcb0b | 50% | 38 |
| #5 | kazub | 48% | 135 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr. Edger | 15 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | kazub | 13 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | fella | 11 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | alxcb0b | 10 | 0.0133 |
| #5 | k0tka | 9 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr. Edger | 1186 | 0.29 | 29 min |
| #2 | kazub | 642 | 0.23 | 19 min |
| #3 | k0tka | 454 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #4 | fella | 407 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #5 | 1totemic | 247 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alxcb0b | +6.06 | 85 | 82 |
| #2 | kazub | +2.08 | 73 | 73 |
| #3 | KartDude | +1.64 | 90 | 42 |
| #4 | k0tka | +1.03 | 70 | 58 |
| #5 | MrSuperrs | +0.94 | 75 | 72 |





