








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 227 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 259 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2575 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,149 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1806 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1726 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1771 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1846 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,342,149 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 714 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rawr | 53% | 90 |
| #2 | LeGod | 53% | 17 |
| #3 | Eisbär | 51% | 51 |
| #4 | finger | 51% | 274 |
| #5 | Burns | 50% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | LeGod | 53% | 17 |
| #3 | Eisbär | 51% | 51 |
| #4 | finger | 51% | 274 |
| #5 | Burns | 50% | 44 |
| #6 | Dobby | 48% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | finger | 25 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Eisbär | 14 | 0.0120 |
| #3 | Rawr | 8 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | Burns | 6 | 0.0060 |
| #5 | Dobby | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | finger | 911 | 0.15 | 25 min |
| #2 | Rawr | 495 | 0.25 | 14 min |
| #3 | Eisbär | 282 | 0.24 | 8 min |
| #4 | Burns | 161 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | Dobby | 60 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eisbär | +3.95 | 83 | 62 |
| #2 | Burns | +2.14 | 54 | 59 |
| #3 | LeGod | +1.79 | 71 | 64 |
| #4 | Rawr | +1.48 | 76 | 73 |
| #5 | finger | +0.42 | 72 | 58 |





