










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
178 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 869 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 225 | 26% |
| Smokes | 214 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 192 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 238 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $125,109 of utility $234 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Liam [95th] | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | Joe | 70% | 10 |
| #3 | Blizzard | 70% | 20 |
| #4 | LUM | 69% | 16 |
| #5 | AlphaM | 67% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Joe | 70% | 10 |
| #3 | Blizzard | 70% | 20 |
| #4 | LUM | 69% | 16 |
| #5 | AlphaM | 67% | 3 |
| #6 | Sand Paper Fleshlight | 65% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blizzard | 2 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | Sand Paper Fleshlight | 2 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LUM | 71 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #2 | Blizzard | 53 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | Joe | 53 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #4 | Sand Paper Fleshlight | 29 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Liam [95th] | 18 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blizzard | +5.92 | 87 | 71 |
| #2 | AlphaM | +5.38 | 80 | 66 |
| #3 | LUM | +2.94 | 72 | 78 |
| #4 | Joe | +0.40 | 67 | 58 |
| #5 | DON'T DIE (That'dBeEmbarrassing) | -1.67 | 52 | 59 |





