








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
682 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,162 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 116 | 10% |
| Smokes | 394 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 324 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 328 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $229,450 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ H. Du Bois | 50% | 32 |
| #2 | HERSENDOOD | 49% | 57 |
| #3 | bottom frog | 49% | 43 |
| #4 | Flickey | 33% | 6 |
| #5 | Mirakeljongen Nederland | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | bottom frog | 49% | 43 |
| #4 | Flickey | 33% | 6 |
| #5 | Mirakeljongen Nederland | 33% | 6 |
| #6 | Perongeluk | 29% | 7 |
| #7 | NatBingBong | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HERSENDOOD | 12 | 0.0103 |
| #2 | bottom frog | 4 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ H. Du Bois | 3 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | Mirakeljongen Nederland | 1 | 0.0105 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HERSENDOOD | 148 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #2 | ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ H. Du Bois | 51 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | bottom frog | 42 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | Perongeluk | 8 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #5 | Flickey | 4 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Perongeluk | +1.93 | 61 | 39 |
| #2 | ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ H. Du Bois | +1.48 | 61 | 41 |
| #3 | HERSENDOOD | +0.13 | 30 | 47 |
| #4 | Flickey | -0.22 | 55 | 45 |
| #5 | Cojac XD__ | -0.81 | 54 | 35 |





