








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 5 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
154 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 471 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 108 | 23% |
| Smokes | 161 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 96 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 106 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $66,179 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Impulsiv XD | 50% | 4 |
| #2 | ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ H. Du Bois | 43% | 14 |
| #3 | bottom frog | 35% | 20 |
| #4 | Cojac XD__ | 33% | 6 |
| #5 | Mirakeljongen Nederland | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | bottom frog | 35% | 20 |
| #4 | Cojac XD__ | 33% | 6 |
| #5 | Mirakeljongen Nederland | 33% | 12 |
| #6 | HERSENDOOD | 31% | 16 |
| #7 | Perongeluk | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HERSENDOOD | 2 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | Mirakeljongen Nederland | 1 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HERSENDOOD | 33 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #2 | ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ H. Du Bois | 26 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #3 | Mirakeljongen Nederland | 10 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #4 | bottom frog | 9 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #5 | Impulsiv XD | 3 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Perongeluk | +3.62 | 72 | 56 |
| #2 | ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ H. Du Bois | +0.79 | 63 | 52 |
| #3 | Flickey | +0.08 | 61 | 48 |
| #4 | bottom frog | -0.81 | 72 | 57 |
| #5 | Cojac XD__ | -1.11 | 64 | 38 |





