








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 406 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 196 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1810 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,376 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1938 | 19% |
| Smokes | 4142 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 2293 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2003 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $586,266 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 350 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ H. Du Bois | 53% | 160 |
| #2 | bottom frog | 52% | 154 |
| #3 | Impulsiv XD | 50% | 20 |
| #4 | Mirakeljongen Nederland | 50% | 24 |
| #5 | Cojac XD__ | 49% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Impulsiv XD | 50% | 20 |
| #4 | Mirakeljongen Nederland | 50% | 24 |
| #5 | Cojac XD__ | 49% | 57 |
| #6 | Perongeluk | 38% | 26 |
| #7 | Flickey | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ H. Du Bois | 14 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | bottom frog | 12 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Cojac XD__ | 4 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Perongeluk | 2 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | Flickey | 2 | 0.0061 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ H. Du Bois | 316 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #2 | bottom frog | 174 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #3 | Perongeluk | 47 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | Flickey | 27 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Mirakeljongen Nederland | 20 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ H. Du Bois | +2.54 | 59 | 51 |
| #2 | Flickey | +0.21 | 63 | 43 |
| #3 | Perongeluk | +0.17 | 60 | 52 |
| #4 | HERSENDOOD | -0.19 | 28 | 49 |
| #5 | Cojac XD__ | -0.51 | 54 | 35 |





