








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 644 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 158 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2401 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,412 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1731 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2983 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1576 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2122 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $776,160 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 264 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NatBingBong | 60% | 20 |
| #2 | bottom frog | 54% | 154 |
| #3 | HERSENDOOD | 53% | 160 |
| #4 | Cojac XD__ | 50% | 32 |
| #5 | Mirakeljongen Nederland | 48% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | HERSENDOOD | 53% | 160 |
| #4 | Cojac XD__ | 50% | 32 |
| #5 | Mirakeljongen Nederland | 48% | 23 |
| #6 | Impulsiv XD | 44% | 16 |
| #7 | Flickey | 43% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bottom frog | 15 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | HERSENDOOD | 14 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | Cojac XD__ | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Impulsiv XD | 1 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Flickey | 1 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HERSENDOOD | 311 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #2 | bottom frog | 172 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | Flickey | 22 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #4 | Mirakeljongen Nederland | 19 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | Cojac XD__ | 9 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ H. Du Bois | +2.86 | 57 | 52 |
| #2 | Flickey | +0.32 | 54 | 49 |
| #3 | HERSENDOOD | -0.27 | 25 | 46 |
| #4 | bottom frog | -1.56 | 66 | 45 |
| #5 | Mirakeljongen Nederland | -1.58 | 17 | 38 |





