








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 374 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 186 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1919 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,928 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1247 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1053 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 2604 | 44% |
| Molotovs | 1024 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $963,813 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 178 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | some idiot™ | 61% | 31 |
| #2 | ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ H. Du Bois | 54% | 154 |
| #3 | HERSENDOOD | 52% | 154 |
| #4 | Cojac XD__ | 49% | 43 |
| #5 | Perongeluk | 49% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Mirakeljongen Nederland | 44% | 34 |
| #7 | Impulsiv XD | 43% | 23 |
| #8 | NatBingBong | 42% | 48 |
| #9 | Flickey | 35% | 20 |
| #10 | God_Hates_Ash | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HERSENDOOD | 21 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ H. Du Bois | 15 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | God_Hates_Ash | 5 | 0.0142 |
| #4 | Cojac XD__ | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | Perongeluk | 3 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ H. Du Bois | 314 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #2 | HERSENDOOD | 304 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | some idiot™ | 101 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | Perongeluk | 51 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Flickey | 29 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | some idiot™ | +3.92 | 73 | 68 |
| #2 | ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ H. Du Bois | +2.50 | 56 | 50 |
| #3 | Perongeluk | +2.29 | 62 | 50 |
| #4 | Flickey | +0.36 | 64 | 51 |
| #5 | HERSENDOOD | -0.05 | 28 | 50 |





