








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 285 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1567 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,794 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 881 | 15% |
| Smokes | 2315 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 1106 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1492 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $319,093 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 81 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Femboy Vi | 50% | 12 |
| #10 | bottom frog | 49% | 41 |
| #11 | Mirakeljongen Nederland | 45% | 11 |
| #12 | Miška (ᵔᴥᵔ) | 40% | 15 |
| #13 | HERSENDOOD | 38% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bottom frog | 3 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | ˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ Ada ♱ | 3 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | HERSENDOOD | 2 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | an idiot™ | 2 | 0.0096 |
| #5 | hannah | 1 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ Ada ♱ | 73 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #2 | hannah | 69 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #3 | Femboy Vi | 58 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #4 | HERSENDOOD | 53 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #5 | some idiot™ | 44 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | an idiot™ | +5.17 | 66 | 60 |
| #2 | some idiot™ | +4.60 | 58 | 58 |
| #3 | hannah | +3.29 | 79 | 58 |
| #4 | Femboy Vi | +3.11 | 76 | 76 |
| #5 | Perongeluk | +1.88 | 60 | 49 |





