








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 309 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 192 matches | ||
| Premier | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 25 matches | ||
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




53 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5015 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,435 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4332 | 25% |
| Smokes | 5230 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3907 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3966 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $631,645 of utility $72 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1047 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Klippy | 71% | 58 |
| #2 | Chikhai Bardo | 65% | 189 |
| #3 | fmj16 ^v^ ☛☚ | 64% | 256 |
| #4 | AlexHöbbes#SleepyBoi <3 | 63% | 263 |
| #5 | Kryzer ☆ | 62% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | AlexHöbbes#SleepyBoi <3 | 63% | 263 |
| #5 | Kryzer ☆ | 62% | 95 |
| #6 | Noahh | 56% | 123 |
| #7 | Ketamine Addict | 55% | 76 |
| #8 | DJWhisky08 | 50% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fmj16 ^v^ ☛☚ | 35 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | Kryzer ☆ | 15 | 0.0076 |
| #3 | Noahh | 11 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | AlexHöbbes#SleepyBoi <3 | 10 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Chikhai Bardo | 5 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AlexHöbbes#SleepyBoi <3 | 670 | 0.12 | 16 min |
| #2 | fmj16 ^v^ ☛☚ | 477 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #3 | Noahh | 362 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #4 | Ketamine Addict | 315 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #5 | Chikhai Bardo | 270 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zephyr ^v^ | +4.30 | 87 | 59 |
| #2 | Kryzer ☆ | +2.63 | 91 | 48 |
| #3 | Klippy | +0.61 | 82 | 58 |
| #4 | fmj16 ^v^ ☛☚ | +0.22 | 71 | 62 |
| #5 | AlexHöbbes#SleepyBoi <3 | -0.02 | 62 | 58 |





