








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 603 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 269 matches | ||
| Faceit | 167 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 33 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 95 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6000 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,347 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6470 | 30% |
| Smokes | 5313 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 6016 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3548 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,440,214 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 610 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Klippy | 77% | 47 |
| #2 | Zephyr ^v^ | 63% | 263 |
| #3 | Chikhai Bardo | 63% | 202 |
| #4 | Kryzer ☆ | 61% | 88 |
| #5 | Ketamine Addict | 61% | 120 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Kryzer ☆ | 61% | 88 |
| #5 | Ketamine Addict | 61% | 120 |
| #6 | fmj16 ^v^ ☛☚ | 61% | 463 |
| #7 | Chegg/Sphee Distinction | 60% | 65 |
| #8 | Noahh | 57% | 127 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fmj16 ^v^ ☛☚ | 53 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | Zephyr ^v^ | 39 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | Kryzer ☆ | 16 | 0.0087 |
| #4 | Noahh | 12 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | Ketamine Addict | 9 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zephyr ^v^ | 937 | 0.17 | 20 min |
| #2 | fmj16 ^v^ ☛☚ | 839 | 0.09 | 21 min |
| #3 | Ketamine Addict | 443 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #4 | Noahh | 390 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #5 | Chikhai Bardo | 307 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zephyr ^v^ | +4.22 | 87 | 60 |
| #2 | Kryzer ☆ | +3.12 | 91 | 49 |
| #3 | Klippy | +1.24 | 81 | 55 |
| #4 | fmj16 ^v^ ☛☚ | +0.81 | 69 | 60 |
| #5 | AlexHöbbes#SleepyBoi <3 | +0.68 | 63 | 60 |





