








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 256 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 123 matches | ||
| Wingman | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2983 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,761 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1901 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3123 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 1411 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 2326 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $962,878 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 74 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Klippy | 76% | 33 |
| #2 | fmj16 ^v^ ☛☚ | 58% | 118 |
| #3 | AlexHöbbes#SleepyBoi <3 | 57% | 127 |
| #4 | Zephyr ^v^ | 56% | 123 |
| #5 | Chikhai Bardo | 56% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Zephyr ^v^ | 56% | 123 |
| #5 | Chikhai Bardo | 56% | 70 |
| #6 | Ketamine Addict | 54% | 28 |
| #7 | Kryzer ☆ | 51% | 37 |
| #8 | geuhb8 | 50% | 117 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | geuhb8 | 16 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | Zephyr ^v^ | 11 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | fmj16 ^v^ ☛☚ | 11 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | AlexHöbbes#SleepyBoi <3 | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Chikhai Bardo | 5 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zephyr ^v^ | 416 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #2 | AlexHöbbes#SleepyBoi <3 | 336 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #3 | geuhb8 | 267 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | fmj16 ^v^ ☛☚ | 197 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | Chikhai Bardo | 97 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zephyr ^v^ | +3.92 | 86 | 60 |
| #2 | geuhb8 | +1.88 | 83 | 42 |
| #3 | Kryzer ☆ | +1.54 | 90 | 51 |
| #4 | Klippy | +1.11 | 82 | 52 |
| #5 | fmj16 ^v^ ☛☚ | +0.53 | 72 | 58 |





