








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 578 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 259 matches | ||
| Premier | 220 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 31 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 92 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




61 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6131 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,552 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5451 | 24% |
| Smokes | 5786 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 6729 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 4586 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,730,259 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 743 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Klippy | 70% | 81 |
| #2 | Chegg/Sphee Distinction | 70% | 40 |
| #3 | Chikhai Bardo | 65% | 210 |
| #4 | Zephyr ^v^ | 64% | 256 |
| #5 | AlexHöbbes#SleepyBoi <3 | 61% | 463 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | AlexHöbbes#SleepyBoi <3 | 61% | 463 |
| #6 | Kryzer ☆ | 60% | 95 |
| #7 | Noahh | 58% | 118 |
| #8 | Ketamine Addict | 56% | 142 |
| #9 | Fireb- | 43% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zephyr ^v^ | 35 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | AlexHöbbes#SleepyBoi <3 | 20 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Ketamine Addict | 13 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | Kryzer ☆ | 12 | 0.0060 |
| #5 | Noahh | 8 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AlexHöbbes#SleepyBoi <3 | 1073 | 0.11 | 27 min |
| #2 | Zephyr ^v^ | 910 | 0.17 | 21 min |
| #3 | Ketamine Addict | 453 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #4 | Noahh | 369 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #5 | Chikhai Bardo | 311 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zephyr ^v^ | +4.37 | 87 | 62 |
| #2 | Kryzer ☆ | +3.04 | 91 | 50 |
| #3 | Klippy | +1.07 | 82 | 54 |
| #4 | fmj16 ^v^ ☛☚ | +0.86 | 71 | 61 |
| #5 | AlexHöbbes#SleepyBoi <3 | +0.53 | 62 | 61 |





