










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 285 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 29 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2838 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,931 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3458 | 35% |
| Smokes | 2847 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1694 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1932 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $743,477 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 116 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chikhai Bardo | 69% | 54 |
| #2 | AlexHöbbes#SleepyBoi <3 | 61% | 120 |
| #3 | Kryzer ☆ | 57% | 28 |
| #4 | fmj16 ^v^ ☛☚ | 56% | 142 |
| #5 | Zephyr ^v^ | 55% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fmj16 ^v^ ☛☚ | 19 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | Zephyr ^v^ | 15 | 0.0096 |
| #3 | AlexHöbbes#SleepyBoi <3 | 14 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | Noahh | 4 | 0.0072 |
| #5 | Chikhai Bardo | 3 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AlexHöbbes#SleepyBoi <3 | 308 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #2 | Zephyr ^v^ | 289 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #3 | fmj16 ^v^ ☛☚ | 250 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #4 | Chikhai Bardo | 96 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | Noahh | 60 | 0.11 | 1 min |





