








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 374 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 124 matches | ||
| Premier | 105 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Renown | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 202 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5886 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,791 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3294 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3470 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2068 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 3959 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,087,489 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 131 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ketamine Addict | 69% | 54 |
| #2 | fmj16 ^v^ ☛☚ | 65% | 210 |
| #3 | Zephyr ^v^ | 65% | 189 |
| #4 | Kryzer ☆ | 64% | 42 |
| #5 | AlexHöbbes#SleepyBoi <3 | 63% | 202 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | AlexHöbbes#SleepyBoi <3 | 63% | 202 |
| #6 | Klippy | 61% | 92 |
| #7 | Noahh | 56% | 70 |
| #8 | REKT | 55% | 204 |
| #9 | SanttaCruzz | 55% | 231 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fmj16 ^v^ ☛☚ | 34 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | Zephyr ^v^ | 29 | 0.0073 |
| #3 | SanttaCruzz | 17 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | REKT | 16 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | Kryzer ☆ | 10 | 0.0115 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SanttaCruzz | 1200 | 0.27 | 28 min |
| #2 | Zephyr ^v^ | 662 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #3 | REKT | 659 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| #4 | AlexHöbbes#SleepyBoi <3 | 509 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #5 | fmj16 ^v^ ☛☚ | 390 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zephyr ^v^ | +4.78 | 87 | 63 |
| #2 | Kryzer ☆ | +3.78 | 91 | 47 |
| #3 | Klippy | +2.00 | 84 | 55 |
| #4 | fmj16 ^v^ ☛☚ | +0.96 | 72 | 61 |
| #5 | REKT | +0.83 | 54 | 59 |





