








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 457 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 473 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3610 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,789 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2129 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1384 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 3991 | 45% |
| Molotovs | 1285 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,902,259 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1615 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Orpoerpo | 41% | 134 |
| #11 | tompur | 39% | 147 |
| #12 | Py11y | 31% | 77 |
| #13 | Godsane | 31% | 29 |
| #14 | TspK△ | 25% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Benee ✪ | 20 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | tompur | 15 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | Epik | 14 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Aleksi Joonas | 9 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | free speech fabsolutist 💖 | 8 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Benee ✪ | 721 | 0.13 | 16 min |
| #2 | Epik | 682 | 0.11 | 19 min |
| #3 | Aleksi Joonas | 362 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #4 | Orpoerpo | 312 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #5 | Py11y | 142 | 0.09 | 3 min |





