








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 252 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 463 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4618 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,993 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3343 | 22% |
| Smokes | 4041 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4250 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3359 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $988,416 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 336 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Urpokarhu | 55% | 96 |
| #2 | Benee ✪ | 50% | 317 |
| #3 | Orpoerpo | 50% | 151 |
| #4 | Halo ♿ | 50% | 62 |
| #5 | Epik | 50% | 408 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Epik | 50% | 408 |
| #6 | easy | 48% | 124 |
| #7 | free speech fabsolutist 💖 | 47% | 173 |
| #8 | Larzka♿ | 46% | 162 |
| #9 | Py11y | 44% | 113 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Benee ✪ | 23 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | Epik | 12 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Larzka♿ | 10 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | free speech fabsolutist 💖 | 8 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Orpoerpo | 8 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Epik | 957 | 0.11 | 28 min |
| #2 | Benee ✪ | 901 | 0.13 | 21 min |
| #3 | Orpoerpo | 376 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #4 | Larzka♿ | 240 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | Py11y | 213 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Benee ✪ | +3.16 | 69 | 73 |
| #2 | Epik | +2.67 | 79 | 64 |
| #3 | Halo ♿ | +2.58 | 59 | 70 |
| #4 | Orpoerpo | -0.30 | 69 | 66 |
| #5 | Aleksi Joonas | -0.81 | 63 | 53 |





