








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 201 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September

The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 178 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2458 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,787 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 536 | 9% |
| Smokes | 1257 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2180 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 1814 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $190,650 of utility $39 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 68 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Larzka♿ | 39% | 147 |
| #9 | Bryci | 38% | 21 |
| #10 | Godsane | 27% | 26 |
| #11 | Urpokarhu | 26% | 19 |
| #12 | TspK△ | 14% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Larzka♿ | 10 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | Godsane | 7 | 0.0138 |
| #3 | Epik | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Benee ✪ | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Halo ♿ | 2 | 0.0064 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Larzka♿ | 230 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #2 | Epik | 211 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #3 | Benee ✪ | 94 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | Orpoerpo | 60 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | Godsane | 55 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Epik | +3.69 | 76 | 66 |
| #2 | Benee ✪ | +3.26 | 68 | 71 |
| #3 | Godsane | +1.58 | 81 | 56 |
| #4 | tompur | +0.63 | 77 | 44 |
| #5 | Urpokarhu | -0.61 | 72 | 22 |





