








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 221 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 324 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2536 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,426 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2201 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2832 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2273 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3120 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,453,919 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 178 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Epik | 45% | 277 |
| #9 | LarzkaβΏ | 44% | 132 |
| #10 | Py11y | 41% | 73 |
| #11 | Urpokarhu | 40% | 87 |
| #12 | Orpoerpo | 39% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Benee βͺ | 18 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Epik | 10 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | LarzkaβΏ | 9 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Urpokarhu | 8 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | Halo βΏ | 8 | 0.0061 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Epik | 716 | 0.12 | 20 min |
| #2 | Benee βͺ | 538 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #3 | Aleksi Joonas | 385 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #4 | Orpoerpo | 214 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | LarzkaβΏ | 199 | 0.07 | 4 min |





