








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 135 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1295 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,642 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1232 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1323 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1707 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1380 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $495,096 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 41 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bacca | 55% | 107 |
| #2 | Rubirian | 53% | 115 |
| #3 | Petrophagus | 53% | 57 |
| #4 | Josh | 51% | 117 |
| #5 | Bas | 50% | 137 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Josh | 51% | 117 |
| #5 | Bas | 50% | 137 |
| #6 | PiXXoN | 49% | 55 |
| #7 | ✪ tez1fyy | 49% | 35 |
| #8 | DaskeMann | 45% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rubirian | 8 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Bacca | 8 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Josh | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Bas | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Petrophagus | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bas | 801 | 0.28 | 22 min |
| #2 | Bacca | 605 | 0.27 | 15 min |
| #3 | Rubirian | 219 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | PiXXoN | 160 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #5 | Josh | 151 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bacca | +2.92 | 72 | 68 |
| #2 | ✪ tez1fyy | +2.68 | 85 | 60 |
| #3 | Bas | +1.74 | 79 | 74 |
| #4 | Rubirian | +0.27 | 67 | 56 |
| #5 | Josh | -0.78 | 66 | 49 |





