








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 30 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 69 matches | ||
| Faceit | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1961 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,104 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 483 | 8% |
| Smokes | 1642 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2307 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 1672 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $463,442 of utility $74 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 102 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NastyGulag fighter Kermit2 | 53% | 57 |
| #2 | Rubirian | 51% | 126 |
| #3 | AssKiss | 50% | 18 |
| #4 | Bacca | 46% | 170 |
| #5 | Bas | 45% | 162 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Bacca | 46% | 170 |
| #5 | Bas | 45% | 162 |
| #6 | PiXXoN | 44% | 72 |
| #7 | Josh | 44% | 187 |
| #8 | DaskeMann | 37% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bacca | 11 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Josh | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Bas | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Rubirian | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | PiXXoN | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bacca | 966 | 0.28 | 25 min |
| #2 | Bas | 853 | 0.25 | 24 min |
| #3 | Rubirian | 289 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | Josh | 228 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | PiXXoN | 139 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bacca | +3.61 | 73 | 70 |
| #2 | Bas | +2.33 | 78 | 73 |
| #3 | Rubirian | +0.73 | 66 | 57 |
| #4 | Josh | -0.54 | 67 | 45 |
| #5 | NastyGulag fighter Kermit2 | -0.91 | 52 | 56 |





