








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 315 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 347 matches | ||
| Faceit | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5510 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,519 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2559 | 14% |
| Smokes | 4803 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 6960 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 4197 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,113,022 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 57 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ tez1fyy | 54% | 111 |
| #2 | NastyGulag fighter Kermit2 | 51% | 117 |
| #3 | Bacca | 50% | 474 |
| #4 | Bas | 49% | 496 |
| #5 | Rubirian | 48% | 381 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Bas | 49% | 496 |
| #5 | Rubirian | 48% | 381 |
| #6 | PiXXoN | 45% | 194 |
| #7 | Petrophagus | 44% | 187 |
| #8 | DaskeMann | 39% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bacca | 36 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Bas | 18 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Rubirian | 18 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | ✪ tez1fyy | 8 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Petrophagus | 6 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bacca | 2792 | 0.28 | 71 min |
| #2 | Bas | 2663 | 0.25 | 74 min |
| #3 | Rubirian | 834 | 0.10 | 18 min |
| #4 | PiXXoN | 452 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #5 | ✪ tez1fyy | 371 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bacca | +2.46 | 72 | 70 |
| #2 | Bas | +1.69 | 78 | 73 |
| #3 | ✪ tez1fyy | +0.26 | 81 | 59 |
| #4 | Rubirian | +0.06 | 66 | 58 |
| #5 | NastyGulag fighter Kermit2 | -1.21 | 58 | 56 |





