








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 95 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 87 matches | ||
| Faceit | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1982 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,144 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2235 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3249 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2294 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2366 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $535,602 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 107 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bas | 50% | 176 |
| #2 | ✪ tez1fyy | 49% | 55 |
| #3 | NastyGulag fighter Kermit2 | 49% | 55 |
| #4 | Bacca | 48% | 179 |
| #5 | Josh | 45% | 194 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Bacca | 48% | 179 |
| #5 | Josh | 45% | 194 |
| #6 | Petrophagus | 44% | 72 |
| #7 | Rubirian | 44% | 162 |
| #8 | DaskeMann | 31% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bacca | 8 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Rubirian | 7 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Josh | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Bas | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | ✪ tez1fyy | 4 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bacca | 1092 | 0.29 | 28 min |
| #2 | Bas | 993 | 0.27 | 26 min |
| #3 | Rubirian | 359 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #4 | Josh | 247 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | ✪ tez1fyy | 198 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bacca | +3.57 | 73 | 71 |
| #2 | Bas | +1.88 | 78 | 72 |
| #3 | ✪ tez1fyy | +1.72 | 83 | 58 |
| #4 | Rubirian | +0.38 | 67 | 58 |
| #5 | Josh | -1.35 | 67 | 44 |





